Buh-bye Haters

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Sometimes I wonder if life for women in the U.S. has always been this way. You know…women being cutthroat with one another.

I can’t speak on behalf of the women in other countries, as I’ve only ever been a resident of this one, but it seems like we American women spend way too much time acting as crabs in a barrel, rather than lifting each other up to new heights. And it’s a shame.

I’ve had to look up different quotes for women’s empowerment and inspiration to post on social media for an internship with RegalRealness.com and this one stuck out to me more than the 60 or more that I passed to see it. Why? Because it’s the truth. A woman who owns and wields her power is a force to be reckoned with, but even more so, a entourage of women doing just that.

So why is it that we have such a hard time, as women, figuring out how to cooperate and work with one another for the greater good? I’m a firm believer that if women were to come together by some Miracle of God and start being good to one another, that our homes, our communities, our children, and our families would be so much more invigorated and pleasant.

My suggestion for us? To do more complimenting than downgrading. Promote more camaraderie than man-stealing. Do more helping each other instead of hanging each other out to dry. Men will never respect us if we don’t get it together, and worse…we’ll never respect each other.

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What is that?

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One of my followers posted this the other day, and in an effort to become more active with my social media community, I decided to respond.

I’ve personally given up on labeling the whole awkward, pre-dating/ getting to know each other phase because at the end of the day, anything without real commitment is only minutely more than irrelevant…for the simple fact that we give the situation the time of day.

I understand that those first few evaluative efforts are about trying to appear as the crème de la crème to the opposite sex in addition to seeing if things are worth pursuing, and that’s okay….But both young men and woman should keep in mind that it’s all fluff.  At this point in my life and after my experiences, I honestly feel that until I can see that someone is working to be my permanent One-and-Only (yes, a Husband, not that I’m looking for that any time soon), I don’t have it in me to take anyone too seriously.

Dating is great if you like that sort of thing. Going out to enjoy new restaurants and movies is fun! But here’s my mentality: I don’t have to stop my life for anyone and I’m not obligated to push aside my plans for or lose sleep over anyone, either. I’m living my young life happily, fully understanding that people come and go.

So my recommendation? That anyone who hasn’t done so yet, places a some sort of personal ban against the phrase and phase “Talking” and instead tries to become more objective as others may try to get to know and court them. Doing just this has allowed me to attain a sort of self-control and self-respect that I’d like to believe cannot be swayed or broken. It repels those who may not be up to my particular standards and it discards the rose-colored glasses so I can evaluate the amount of time that I should spend on any given situation, with a leveled head.

Time is an invaluable asset that cannot be replaced, so don’t waste it on situations that aren’t relevant, and certainly not “Talking.”

Handle your Business

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So, for my first “Food for Thought” piece, I decided that I would let this picture be my guide. A friend of mine sent this picture to me in a text saying that it reminded her of me….and if you only knew the self-inflicted struggles that I undertook by being in my last relationship, you’d definitely understand. Although that’s a story for a different day, here’s what I would like you guys to take from this, especially because I know first hand that this is not always our area of expertise:

You have to let that SH*T GO! In many cases, love is blinding. Actually….relationships period are blinding. Why? Because we let ourselves get caught up with people who don’t truly care about us one way or the other. You have to know when enough is enough and when it’s time for you to start looking out for your own interests. As women we love hard and we’re emotional, and that’s Okay, because if we didn’t, who would? But when you let your feelings for someone start to interfere with your future..your Education…your Money? That’s a problem. At that point, the power over yourself and your actions, that should undoubtedly belong to you, is now in the hands of someone else.

Suggested solution? Open your eyes and start being more Objective, or these people will run you into the ground, leaving you unfocused and broke, just like the picture says.