There’s a certain kind of delicate art to Killing With Kindness. It’s not the easiest task by any means and it takes a certain level of maturity or two… not to mention a monk’s patience. As I’ve said before, some people just don’t like to see anyone else happy and go out of their way to ruin the next person’s vibe. But what’s that go to do with us? Well, we never know what the next person is going through, for one, so there may be more to the puzzle than we know . From bad customer services representatives to the most random instances where the next person just decided it might be a good idea to push all 27 of my buttons at once, the Lord saw fit to equip me with lots of KWK experience. And for that, I am glad. People skills are about as essential to the soul as laughter.
Becuase of my last job working for a property management company as a leasing agent, I can attest to dealing with plenty of senselessly angry people who sometimes, despite their issues being completely unrelated to our work in the office, decided to take their frustrations out on us anyway. But by being kind and coming from a place of sincere concern, we were usually able to either coax them out of their anger or they’d storm off and come back later and apopogize for their behavior. Fighting fire with fire is usually never he answer.
“What about the people that I already know don’t like me? And the ones that are always coming for me?” Good question. My golden rules for dealing with people in those categories is as follows:
1. If it’s something you did that’s causing tension, apopogize and if they accept it, great. If they don’t, well you did your part. Keep it cordial and keep it moving.
2. If it’s something that doesn’t involve you being blatantly disrespected, keep minding your business. It’s not your job to please other people when they don’t like you for reasons that don’t have anything to do with you.
3. If you are being blatantly disrespected, address it like a grown up (which almost always takes well-thought-out conflict resolution planning). Try to come to terms with the other person that allow both of you to be able to either function cordially if it’s someone you have to interact with regularly, or go peacefully about your merry ways.
Not everything and everyone are worth the energy. I personally don’t like bickering back and forth about issues I have nothing to do with and things that aren’t my problem. Although it’s not always the easiest thing ever, it’s usually less work in the long run to be civil and mature.