It’s not uncommon for us to spend time on people who don’t deserve it. It’s human nature and, beyond behavior, we can’t predict the future or control the next person’s actions. But just in case you’ve forgotten: Time is an invaluable asset that can never be recovered once spent.
Inspired yesterday by the #WomanCrushWednesday posts I saw of some of my followers’ best friends on Instagram, I began thinking of one of my best friends and felt a deep, sincere appreciation of everything that she’s done for me since we’ve become close. It’s nice to have someone who appreciates and cherishes my friendship as much as I appreciate hers; good friends are hard to find. I never have to wonder if I’ll have a comforting shoulder when I’m in need, keeping it 100 is never a question, and more than anything else, she consistently puts in effort to be a great friend. And that’s what’s important. Effort.
Like many people, I’m no stranger to “friends” and significant others who have used and abused the perks of having me around. It took me until the end of my last “relationship” to truly understand that…unfortunately some people will let you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders for them, but leave you hanging when you ask them to hold your purse. It’s life. I had a friend in high school that only really bothered to ask me to hang out if I could drive us around once I got my driver’s license (haven’t heard from her since Fall 2013 lol…) and even now by virtue of just being in college, there are people around that literally only bother to talk to me when they need something and think it’s okay…but should I ever need anything, #WhereDeyAtTho?
My mother taught me that as a Christian, you do what you can to help people in need when it’s in your power to do so, and that’s the life I lead. She also makes it a point to remind me every so often that, despite my loving, generous nature and bad tendency to completely ignore the flaws of others while trying to find the good in them…not everyone is worth my time and effort. “If they want to be in your life…if they want to be around, they’ll show you through their actions. And that applies to everyone. I don’t kiss a** and You don’t have to kiss a** for anyone either.” -Mom
It’s pretty discouraging to think that some people can be so relentlessly selfish. But there are ways to cope without becoming hard-hearted. If you’re as sensitive as I am and get as upset as I do by people’s selfishness and lack of effort after they’ve gone out of their way to drain you of your energy here’s something that may help:
Accept them for who they are, and put them out of your life. You’re not obligated to deal with anyone who doesn’t put in effort to be as good to you as you are to them. I’d even go as far as saying dealing with those people is stupid and shows a serious lack of self-preservation. Be brave enough to take the time to treat yourself better than they ever will by leaving them behind where they belong. Pray about it and keep it moving.